One of the biggest fears employees have about retirement is losing their sense of purpose. That fear is unfounded. It’s one of the downsides of early retirement that no one likes to talk about.
In the first few months, maybe even a year, you may feel a little lost. Fixed salary no more. A sad lunch partner’s relationship is fading. Low-grade melancholy may begin. But it passes, and when it passes, you naturally find a new purpose on your terms.
I know this personally. I retired in 2012 and have lived through all the ups and downs of early retirement and retirement since then. Despite everything, I wouldn’t trade one year of that freedom for more money. Give me millions and I would still choose the time I had with my kids, my life, and my life over grinding 60 hours a week for someone else’s dream.
But this post is not just for people who choose to retire or retire early.
With firms like Block laying off 40% of their workforce, a combination of overemployment and accelerating AI productivity gains, many other bloated companies are sure to follow. If you are doomed, or suspect you may be, I want to face the fear that you will forever lose your sense of purpose and meaning.
It won’t.
Yes, work gives you purpose. The problem is when it becomes your only source.
It’s Easy to Find Meaning and Purpose in Small Things
It took me about 12 months to get over the initial shock of early retirement. By the third year I was fully settled, and there was no going back. What I have found in 14 years of being unemployed is that the little things serve as much purpose as the big ones.
Let me share one random day that illustrates exactly what I mean.
Managing rental properties can be a pain, but it also provides an incredible amount of purpose. Something always needs fixing, and fixing things feels satisfying.
On the morning of February 27th, my employer sent an email saying that the outside side door was rotting. A few years ago that email would have pissed me off a bit. This time, with the stock market down, my kids in school, and my wife in a teaching position across town, I was home alone and lonely. When the email came in, I was really relieved.
I called my assistant and we met at the place at 10 am with the employer. We measured, we talked until we sat at the solid wooden door. We briefly considered fiberglass or weatherproof steel, but they also cannot be easily cut or ground to fit properly.
Wood won. It was really fun solving the problem together.
Lots of Things to Do
When my assistant was there, I had him work on two other things that were sitting on my mental list.
First, I told him to get on the roof and spray a waterproofing agent on parts of the light source that might be leaking after a heavy storm. It was the same story from eight years ago, when a blocked drain created a four-inch-by-four-inch pool of standing water.
Second, I had him fix a side gate that was bent and wouldn’t lock properly.
A solid wood door and a new door cost $400 plus another $350 for labor. Not too bad. For 35 minutes I felt useful to my employer. I also watered the side and front of the yard with another 15 as insurance, in case they forget.
I gave the business to a handyman I have trusted since 2020, someone who is not a cheap option but has never let me down. And I took another small step toward protecting a significant portion of our passive retirement income.
That is a very good morning.
The Pursuit of Purpose Next
After the site visit, I called my mailbox to drop off nine signed copies of my dealer’s USA Today, Millionaire Milestones for students who have used Epower’s free financial assessment. You can still participate by clicking this post and reading instructions.
Making notes for each copy feels really meaningful. I spent about $200 on books and shipping, and I have no problem at all. These are students who care deeply about their finances and are long-time readers of Financial Samurai.
After that I grabbed lunch at my favorite Vietnamese noodle place, and brought more food home for family dinner.
A signed book, a bowl of coffee, a family to support. Not a bad afternoon.
Time Off to Write This Post
After lunch I sat down and wrote this post to help retirees and the newly unemployed feel better about the uncertain future. Sharing personal experiences has been rewarding over the years, and that day was no different.
Maybe it doesn’t work for you. Maybe applying for a job in a completely different field, or taking continuing education courses to get certified in something new. Or maybe it will run for 30 minutes to try to lose those last 10 pounds. Even if the scale doesn’t budge, you’ll probably feel better afterward.
For me, having something stimulating to do after any kind of physical activity provides a pleasant balance. Usually, I will play tennis or pickleball for 1-2.5 hours. However, I had a bruised wound.
It’s Bedtime and After School
My favorite thing to do after a nice lunch is to take a nap. There is no apology. It’s also easier to fall asleep after doing something productive, like writing a post.
After that, I took my wife from the school where she was a teacher, and took her to our children’s school for a Girl Scout troop meeting.
My wife insisted on taking the bus and subway to our school, not wanting to feel like she was pushing me away. I insisted on calling him anyway. He said he was upset that I acted as his Uber driver. I told him that driving him was the reason I returned over 500 Uber rides in 2015. I was training for these times.
In the end, I saved her 30 minutes of travel time and got her to Girl Scouts before it started at 3:30pm. Helping my wife always makes me feel useful. It is also good for our relationship.
After we took the kids and ate Vietnamese food together, we helped them with their homework for 30 minutes, then we ended the night with the kids and I being a complete idiot in the hot tub. Bath and bed by 9pm.
Small Things Provide a Big Amount of Meaning
That day, I didn’t close a big business deal or introduce hundreds of people. And I didn’t go to a fancy conference where I was entertained by powerful people. Instead I did a lot of small things that made me feel important. And that was more than enough.
When we get caught up in climbing the corporate ladder and chasing status and fame, we forget that there are other sources of meaning outside of work.
We convince ourselves that purpose should come from a promotion, a paycheck, or an impressive title. But I promise you, you don’t have to.
Little things in life can give a description like Senior Vice President or Managing Director on your LinkedIn profile, often times.
Separate Your Ownership Before Retirement or Layoff
The danger of immersing your whole self in your work is that you stop investing in everything else. And when the inevitable day comes that you leave your job, willingly or not, the gap feels huge because you never separated your identity.
From gardening to teaching your kids guitar to just doing the dishes for a purpose, there are endless ways to find purpose when you no longer have a day job.
And within three months of being gone, almost no one at your old company will be thinking about you anyway. Your position will be taken away or filled by someone else trying to beat their quarter numbers.
So go ahead. Embrace the freedom that retirement or unemployment offers. Don’t worry about being an aimless, aimless soul. You will find something meaningful to do, no matter what stage of life you are in.
Readers, if you are unemployed or retired, have you managed to find a new purpose in your free time? Do you think that some people tie their personalities too much to their jobs, to the detriment of everything else? And do employees really not realize how quickly they will be forgotten once they are gone?
Negotiate a Severance Package and Relax
If you are thinking about leaving your job or feel it coming, don’t give up. Quitting leaves you empty. Negotiating a severance package, on the other hand, can give you a reasonable financial leeway and some breathing room to figure out what’s next.
Both my wife and I discussed our differences. That money gave us the courage to go and never look back. Since retiring in 2012 and 2015, respectively, we’ve traveled extensively, written several best-selling books, and become stay-at-home parents of two. It’s been a good life so far.
If you want to learn how to do the same, pick up a copy of my best-selling ebook How to Handle Your Layoff. Use the code “saveten” to save $10 on it Check it out.
